In the Mind's Eye

Storybit

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 00:22:58 GMT

There are times that I like to tiptoe through one's thoughts. This is a storybit from one of those moments. There is the usual disclaimer of being OOC, but wishing to share a bit of writing. Also, part of this is done in Niklas's lovely style. So I hope you do enjoy.

The sun’s rays filter in through the curtains to play out a private shadow war across the carpets. Not that the great General Whozawhatzit would go unnoticed when the woman crosses the room. His shadow blade cleaves through the motes of air and taking the life of Private Didnotdoit in a mortal combat. Surely she saw this great feat of strength, but well… the woman is distracted.

Out on the balcony, there is a lone rose bush that wends its way up to the woman’s railing. It has had time to recover from uncaring boots and fiendish fingers. There, a singular rose has begun to bloom. Bluish-purple petals unwinding to greet the day, and does not go unnoticed to the woman. It is a reminder, a footnote to her past. Not the life of Weirmonken and her mother, but a tepid memory of love.

It was the first flower he’d ever given her.

“Each rose has its meaning,” he said while nuzzling against her hair. At that time, she worn it down, not having to worry of her appearance. “Red is passion, pink is affection.” He presses a kiss to her cheek. “White is friendship.”

“Yes, love, but what does blue mean?” She prompts of the man with a playful nip to his jaw. He never did question that ‘rough and tumble’ side of her. Had he, would it have turned out differently?

He grins like a cheshire cat and taps her nose. “Unique,” he states and tucks the flower behind her ear.

Later that night, he would discover her secrets and it was be the end of such fond memories. Interestingly enough, her research yielded that the flower in question did have another meaning… death. But it smells just as sweet.

She brushes her fingers across the silken petals, unable to take her thoughts from the comment… the gesture.

Too impetuous.

That too familiar voice creeps into her thoughts, her mother’s. Cautious and wary. Most days, she is able to drown it out with her duty, ledgers, or even her father’s voice when he is in Amber.

“I was angry.”

Yes, but hot.

“Not for much longer.” A promises rests in that simple statement.

You are better when cold. Freezing.

“I do not need to hear this now.” An edge creeps into the woman’s thoughts and the internal voice.

You got it because you have intent.

“Yes, I was being a foolish girl. It seems to work well for some.”

Yes, but it isn’t you.

“I know.”

Yet you still did it.

"I thought it would be different."
You know better than that.

“Could you please go away? I understand how this needs to work, and will do so when the time is appropriate. Isn’t there some Feldane that you can be off pestering?”

You are too like your father. The wolf in you cries.

“Oh no, mother. She feels like she's dying.”

She draws her hand back from the flower, allowing it another day in the sun. Thoughts of her mother and the way her coat used to shine beneath the moonlight floats through her thoughts. So many changes, and still more to come.

When next I look in a mirror, will I know the woman looking back?

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:20:49 GMT

This too will pass.

The thoughts of tattooing this to one friend's forehead or another, just to constant reminder. This too will pass. Though an amusing side note, I feel more free now than when I actually roamed free. I know who I am now. the last veil has dropped. Not who mother wanted, but father sought.

Course my temper remains, so there's someone who shall get a heel up their ~~ass~~ bottom.

Last night, a friend reminded me there are still plans to make. Sukho, Cibola. I wonder where they will lead? There are notes to revisit on the Road. There is also speaking to far too many people, and setting up that list so as not to speak to others. Yet in the end... I will, if only to see the fire. Not enough people have fire in their belly.

Course, I know one or two who may be burned alive.

Ironically, I remember waxing rhapsodic about men, or namely one or two. In truth, I find myself missing one. Roderick. Delightful kisser, beautiful eyes, and recognizing danger, even if a bit late. A pity things ended the way they did, but there is always the roses.

There are times that I wonder why men are this way. A whole slew of words come to my mind, few favorable by some standards. Yes yes, I reminded that my choice of friends lean towards the masculine side. I prefer their honesty, their dry wit. So I shouldn't claim them all to be ~~bastards~~ men, but a select few. So why do I prefer that select few to the 'nice' ones?

I prefer a fiesty swordfight, debates, and real conversation to walking upon the beach and speaking inane lies that neither of us believe. So honesty, dry wit, and being ~~bastards~~ men. Yet to speak to a man implies 'intent', or desire to breed... or at least to some. There are times if things would be so different had I been a Leonard or Leopold. That having a male friend didn't imply a burning desire to know: boxers or brief.

((OOC)) Quick Reminder

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 16:17:32 GMT

As I'm headed to the elusive Dollywood (yes, go ahead and snicker) then I will not be around to run the event this weekend. Instead, and because I did promise, I'm going to shoot for the middle of this week. If you are wishing to tag along, or join, just poke Lily at the Karm Manse.

Until then, I think I shall see about finishing some descs.

((Rails))

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:09:13 GMT

Alright, now from our discussion of features, I was reminded of Rails. Now rubyonrails.org/ Good! Storyline on rails… bad.

I’m sure someone just asked: “what do you mean by on rails?”

Think of a rollercoaster. You know where you began, and you’re quite positive that you know where you will end up without anything given by you, the idle participant. No matter what you do, attempt or accomplish, it doesn’t change the final outcome. That basically all your hard work is flavor and nothing else. So I present a few more questions.

Do you prefer to know the outcome of a story before beginning?

Do you feel a story should be organic and grow of its own accord?

Whose story is the most important and how far are you willing to negotiate those ends?

What is a fair and reasonable outcome to such negotiations?

When do you get to pull the red lever and say “STOP, I want to get off?”

Now, I love organic storytelling. It’s incredible. You look up one day and go “wow, look how far we’ve come.” This is an incredible experience. Just the other day, I was speaking to V about our story (V is not from RTA, sadly). How it started and how it involved into the penultimate moment where everyone is out saving the world and we decided instead to start a life together that they never would have allowed until the end of the story (cue curtain). It was sweet, and appropriate. But the story was completely organic. We never set out for our characters to fall in love. Heck, we BOTH designed, and went out of our way to make them incompatible with ANYONE… or so we thought. Until one day we looked up… and there we were.

Our GM’s fostered organic (individual) storytelling, but sadly they had a tight rein on theme. One that had jumped the shark once, and had done so a second time right before I handed in the ole’ armor. Now before you say “but we’re rigid to theme,” we had to hit the reset button twice. Why? Because people had damaged a part of the theme… badly, and the staff (and players) did not wish for those ‘dark’ days to return.

Now, I see a story as a symbiotic relationship. Where it is a give and take and… it’s wonderful. No, you don’t always get what you want from the story, but it isn’t a complete bust either. I don’t hide the fact that I came to RTA because someone accosted me daily and who brought an OOC grudge IC. It’s the truth, I’m hate to say. But! I was taught that even the conflict these two brought was merely a growth opportunity. Don’t get me wrong, I had that best friend who hugs you and tells you not to take it personal… even when you want to. But he got through to me, and I’m rather stubborn. Point to remember: Fun Factor.

Sometimes we don’t always like what the other person may be bringing to the story, or have opinions as to why they may be attacking. But I believe that in any story, you do have all the power. You may not like the choices or consequences, but you got the power (cue bad 80’s music). In the end, we can either let it defeat us (and there has been times I’ve considered letting such overtake me) or see it as an opportunity to take the character in a new direction.

Peril had this morsel of advice: “You are the puppet-master.”

And to that, I agree as well and jump the tracks whenever I get the chance - save, Six Flags or Dollywood (Yes, you may now mock me for having been to DW).

((As promised... features))

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:20:17 GMT

Alright so we've gone over Motivation, Jumping the Shark (I should do Rails soon), The Great Divide... and now Features.

Today, thanks to interviewing goodness, I was denied the company of our Great Peril. Needless to say, it did not still my thoughts. As promised, I wanted to delve into how each of us sees the 'feature' role.
I learned to mush where there were no features save the Regent (ruler- Game owner) and the Prince (Lead GM). I was informed that I had even worked myself into a similar 'staying' position because of the RP concept we developed. It was a concept (and building) where we endeavored to teach our complex theme to new players and present a learning curve, without issue of accidently insulting a noble. Or they'd not made it through the 10,000+ plus pages on our Wiki. Well, we weren't that bad, but we were really close. Every player had a page, and then there were logs, and then there was history... and so on and so on. Eventually, my 'role' on the game was seen as almost that of a feature because I would sign on to help our newbies, and develop stories. Now I wasn't the only one taking the plunge to become more involved... many of our players did.

What is a feature in your mind?
Are they: Strictly NPC? Strictly PC?
An intermingling of the two?
What makes a feature?
Why are the important?
What is the perfect balance?
On what sort of game does the concept work or even break down?

Now my personal take on a feature is that they're NPC's that are played by talented RP'ers. People who have a firm grasp of theme and the onus that they will build stories and get others involved. Benedict (sorry, big guy) is probably one of the best iterations I have seen of what it means to be a feature. He's out there, snagging people for scene and reminding every player that Amber is still, and will probably be for a while, AT WAR! It's awesome.

No, this style of play doesn't appeal to everyone, but it is more than Relationship and political RP.

Do I think a game can survive without features... absolutely. The story changes focus but it is possible and seen many times. Features, like relationships in my book, should be the spice of a story. On C., we had 2, as I mentioned. Both were such untouchable characters that the likelihood of meeting one was one in a hundred (we were still a small grid). Not to say that they didn't come out, but they were our Deux ex Machina. They were the hammer that went BOOM!!

Now, we did leap into the foray of going "Features, Yay!" after one of our GM's tried a game that had them. Unfortunately, we got to see the reverse side. What happens when you have a poor/bad feature. Someone who actually drives away people and newbies (and was one of the defining reasons why even I left), before anything could be done.

Not to say that you shouldn't have an emotional investment, but I wonder at times if a feature character should not have a GM's mentality. Think to the many hats a GM must wear when telling a story. He's the narrator, the scene designer, and ultimately.. the bad guys. He must have a certain perspective that offers fun -and- challenging without forcing the PC's to feel overwhelmed or that the story is on Rails (this will be our topic for another day).

Now for those about to ask: I do feel that Amber needs Features. They are important to the story, but are they the only story or a vehicle to help us tell even more awesome stories?

Now this is just my 2 cents, and I would love to understand others perspective to this as well. Some games may thrive under either situation. But what does it mean to you?

((The Divide))

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 19:48:26 GMT

(Disclaimer: I’m a very tongue and cheek woman with a sense of humor. You have been warned… repeatedly.)

I’ve returned with those pesky questions. Aren’t you glad they’re mostly hidden behind cuts? Anyway, today brings the question of the IC/OOC divide. This was a HUGE problem on my last MUSH. (For those interested in finding "whyI left my last mush", poke me... Otherwise, I will forget.) You see, people wanted to ‘help’ or felt their perceptions to be the only ones that matter. You may be able to imagine the stir and drama this caused, but it does lead me to the following questions:

Why do IC actions, at times, receive OOC fallout?

Why do people judge the ‘player’ actions rathar than the character's?

Why do we take the pain and turmoil of the character and believe it holds true to ourselves?

When these stories come to an end, or a character dies... why do we mourn?

The reason I present these questions is for a couple of reasons.

1) I’m very curious as to how others perceive these questions. Or even if they realize how committed to the character they have become that one action or slight becomes upsetting in RL.

2) I’m new to Mushing. I have been that person who sat and watched a character butchered to death over the course of an hour. Tears and everything. Is it wrong to feel... upset?

3) Feeling constrained to live up to another’s ideals because they differ from your own perceptions. Or feeling that you’re signing into DRAMA ™, when you sign on. The sense of dread over a hobby you love.

What is IC/OOC divide? It is when we can no longer divorce ourselves from our characters. That you truly see yourself as Sir PranceAlot.

To illustrate my point better, I have included an example from my days back on EQ. It started like all good stories. It all started with a man who decided to play a villain (man, we need more of those brave souls).

There was a man on EQ named Zemerick. He was a doll and the nemesis to my RP guild there. This was determined and outlined in many IC stories, all of them posted to external links for people to enjoy. We would sit and discuss the conflicts that we wished to present with our characters, along with the solutions. Who would win, who would lose? What would be gained? Yes, it was an MMO, but we wanted that MUSH feel (For the record, I did NOT know what a MUSH was or even existed at the time).

Then IT happened. People started approaching me OOC, complaining of his treatment to ME (Lynn), not my character. How unjust and cruel that he had been to kill my character’s cousin, that his fixation on our guild was insulting. Well imagine my surprise?

Here we were building stories, and I’m having the poor boy ripped to shreds in tells/whispers to me. So I ask: what is he adding to the story? Or better yet, what is he adding to your story? Conflicts are why stories grow, are they not? If we win all the time, then what is learned or gained? Course, no one is ever obligated to participate, and I think that is even true today with RTA and many other MUSHes.

Needless to say when people realized that Zem and I were buddies and enjoyed giving these bouts of conflict to the guild, the OOC chatter faded away and actions were purely seen as IC again. You see, they had to remember why we played… which was the fun factor. Now again I state, I’m a RP’er… period. I’m that annoying girl you find on WoW, EQ or any of their various iterations that has built that back story of family and friends. I loved it.

In a sense, games need a re-discovery period. I believe this was stated to an earlier comment. Also, someone may/can/will play a character you despise (ala King Pooba) and another you adore (Shrek). It is the same player, but they’re building constructs (characters) to tell a story. Constructs are nothing more than vehicles to tell that story, right?

Now, I’ve waxed poetic about sharing my experiences as well as presenting the first question. Now for the second: Why do not more logs get posted? I love to post them, but my computer has been hungry and eaten three so far. This is an annoying fact, especially when trying to locate said logs. Needless to say, what is the use of telling a story that you don’t wish to share? Then does a Mush become nothing more than a social interaction? Do the stories lose their meaning?

These are questions that were presented to me over lunch and as such… I pass them on to you.Tomorrow.... the monkeysphere.

(Jumping the Shark?)

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:49:07 GMT

So Peril and I can have some interesting discussions and such. While at lunch yesterday, we got onto the topic of my last post… Motivation. Why we play. Well as many times such discussions go, it was a gateway to my next topic… “Jumping the Shark”.

Now, the reference for “Jumping the Shark” comes from Happy Days. The show was going along nicely and then *bam* we have Fonzie, nonplussed, jumping a shark in his leather jacket. The show had gone off the deep end and had become a parody of itself. We have seen this other times in various different shows. Some idea goes too far and pushes people away rather than becomes inclusive.

Well, then it was presented can this be done in a game? MMORPG, MU’s and the likes… and again, we came up with a resounding YES! It was seen in EQ when they made going across the world –too- easy. It no longer lent to the expanse of the grand universe, but became Ever-Gear, because that is where all the new focus went. Now don’t get me wrong, there are still many of my friends who play – but it jumped the shark. Many other examples that we tossed about were Buffy, Angel, and even Star Trek (Yes, all shows, but it is easier to see it plainly). Now I know you just asked… “What does this have to do with here?” Well, remember I said that games can “Jump the Shark”. I’ve seen it, and played in its revival (as Peril affectionately) calls it.

My questioned posed to you is a hypothetical this time. What would cause a MU to “Jump the Shark”? Think in grand as well as smaller scales. What would be such a turn off of a game, that when you signed it, you went: “Ugh… not this again.” *grumble grumble grumble*

(ooc Discussion)

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:33:37 GMT

On a completely out of character note, I'm always curious to explore various topics. I was thinking of putting up a few posts to see if people would be interested in sharing in these discussions/and our put in their two cents. I will merely present a topic and from there, we discuss. There is no right or wrong answers. Just as a someone still relatively new to mushing, it is interesting to see the other side of the coin.

Without further ado, I will introduce the subject.

What drives you to sign in at night? Is it the relationships you find yourself? Story?

Myself: I play for story.
Don't get me wrong, relationships are fun and such. They add a bit of spice but I don't like for another person to ever feel obligated or constrained to RP with me on a regular basis. Instead, I prefer to see where the RP takes the story. Story, others as well as my own, are what drive me to sign in at night. An overwhelming curiosity that goes "hmm, what can we do tonight, Brain?"

What's yours?

sighs

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 05:22:00 GMT

Does it get any easier?

That's probably the third hardest thing that I' have ever had to say. It's right up there with throwing Zane out. How strange that I never think on that night, or how it ended.

I guess that's a good thing. Never think to the end, but the now. And for now, I'm going to find a hot bath and a warm glass of milk before dealing with the cold.

I crawled out of bed for this?

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 06:02:42 GMT

So I woke up and found a letter from a King, which proved interesting. I always enjoy my visits with him, despite the subject matter most times.... most.

Just seems that my reasons for going have changed.

Note to self: See if Wyatt is free to make the trip.

Log for those who enjoy them
http://karm.wikidot.com/of-kings-and-men
((Disclaimer: Anything shared in a log, I prefer to keep OOC unless you wish to come and pursue a scene and see about getting any information. For that that read: Enjoy!))

Patience

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 04:05:56 GMT

It always seems to come in short supply. Now I have a king to speak with. Hm, where is Wyatt when I need him, possibly off to some interesting Begman experiment.

Either way, I will need to tell him of the research I found. There is one scholar that I've spoken with, but not sure if they will be able to join us. Ah, perhaps later.

I was able to speak to a friend. That is always nice. Tomorrow, I raid the library for meaning.

((On an OOC note: I've started posting logs for those who are interested in reading any of them. This was a habit on my former mush, and everyone seemed to enjoy them. So, they're located at http://karm.wikidot.com/lilith. There is a link at the bottom. Only one so far, but I hope to have many more... enjoy))

New Hobbies

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:14:01 GMT

It seems that there is never enough time in the day as is, but an obscure reference. One that definitely needs looking into if only to keep my mind off of things.

1. Find those who would be interested in a bit of ~~trouble~~ exploration.
2. Figure out when and how to handle the previous issue.
3. Speak to the Regent.
4. Speak to Wyatt.
5. Arrange far too many weddings. Perhaps some will wait until the spring to save my sanity.
6. Midwives. Oh dear, who ever thought I would be interviewing midwives. ~~bleh~~
7. Locate Gilgamesh and see how busy he is, possibly ask a bit of advice.

My my, lists seem to be growing lately. Maybe I should see about that ship to Sukho. Never know, could be profitable among distracting. Anyway, back to my studies. Amusing that I should come to Amber, inherit a library and fall madly in love. Who would have thought it?

Questions?

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 06:58:00 GMT

I've always enjoyed their company, but amusing that it should turn to questions.

There's so many of them in Amber now, and I'd still prefer to find one who can answer some of them. Where have you gone? Will we meet again?

Not the questions I was thinking on tonight, but they will follow me into sleep. That and so many others.

And on that note...

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:42:51 GMT

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas

Happy Kwanzaa

Happy Chanukah

Did I miss anyone? Either way, here's hoping that your holidays are filled with laughter and cheer. Have fun and remember, be careful with the eggnog :)

OOC - Hit and Miss

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:47:40 GMT

Oh how I enjoy this time of year... well, maybe not. The chaos gets me :)

I will be on and off this weekend, depending on what has been plotted out for me. Still working on dragging a Peril out to pester you guys at some point.

Kincaid, you know how to reach me if you need me. If I'm not about tonight, then I can pop on long enough to ask for help.

Either way, off to enjoy this evening with friends and fun. Hope we don't get arrested.

Why is it...

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:28:49 GMT

When I think that everything is beginning to make sense, I get another surprise.

First Wyatt, now this.

Truly there has to be someone watching over me. They either find it exceptionally amusing or have a sadistic sense of humor. I'm waiting to find out which.

Some get the name of that Bus?

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 04:52:10 GMT

I've been blindsided.

Not once, but twice.

This isn't a feeling that I like, in the least. Best of intentions and all, but still, I want to bite something. Hm, where is Zane when I want him. Wait, that's the other blind side.

Note to self: Call Emrys.

Time is on my side

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 01:52:28 GMT

And it is killing me. Annoying and yet I still don't wish to sit down and have one conversation. It is better to run about in trees, or laugh with friends.

Deacon, what a strange man. I wonder if I will be explaining to Zane why there is now this house in that garden we love to hide. Maybe he will find it as amusing.

Fire

Tue, 27 May 2008 05:11:53 GMT

Fire burns in so many ways. From the first strike to the steady burn of hours. Who thought it would apply to more than the flame. Ah well, it is all games, and some more dangerous than others. Well, not all games.

Warm greetings

Sun, 25 May 2008 03:33:24 GMT

Today proved interesting. No bar fights, or handsome men falling about gloriously. No, it was a day of discovering my other nature. Would they understand how I came to understand such ways. A lovely lady really, but it will be interesting to meet this Addison.

I miss the hunt, and this city is lacking in interesting prey. Though, I am encouraged by the lack of 'troubles.' Maybe I can test the forests next. Preferably where the Road will not find me.

Brawls

Sat, 24 May 2008 06:44:51 GMT

So I've found a new fascination. Brawling. First the prince showed me and then tonight, we ran into a poor sport.
Not that Bloodys has to worry about broken furniture or blood on the floors.
But it did prove interesting.. such interesting styles too.

Amber

Wed, 21 May 2008 23:55:51 GMT

To say that it's been interesting would be an understatement. I've met the most interesting people since my arrival. Granted, none happen to be my father. Course, he's responsibilities.

I should take the time to learn the ways of this city. So many games of words and actions.
But I must wonder... why the surprise?

Thank you, Father

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 01:58:27 GMT

Interesting stories: 1 1/2 (Why do women shy from tales of blood?)

Handsome gentlemen: 1.5 (Must learn more of the other before such a claim)

Claims: 1 (impatient)

Now, it is a game of waiting. Maybe I shall see about a few candles for my room.